


bury your grief

by marriedreylo (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben turns out to be a royal, F/M, Happily Ever After, It's a bit sad in a the middle, No Pregnancy, Weddings, and that's why... certain things happen, ben is the prince of alderaan, but that's not explicitly said in the fic, however i will put this in the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 10:54:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24968533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/marriedreylo
Summary: Ben is a modern-day hero. He's part of the British Security Services -- after ten years of military service. He's served with distinction and saved countless British lives. When a bomb goes off in a car park, while he's guarding the princess -- the queen discovers that Ben and Rey have been seeing each other. Elizabeth is disgusted -- but does not decommission Ben. The ensuing madness leaves a country heartbroken, but Ben and Rey make lemons out of lemonade.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44
Collections: A Picture is worth 1000 Words - PL Summer Exchange





	bury your grief

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/gifts).



> Hey, Heathyr, I hope you love this. Some parts of this made me sob. I know you like angst and I saw your moodboard and couldn't help myself! You're a truly good friend and I hope to work on more things for you, going forward.

Ben lays in the hospital bed,  barely  conscious.  The knock to his head after being  nearly  blasted into smithereens has his mind spinning as if he’d gotten off the London Ferris Wheel a little too quickly. It was not the pleasant spinning sensation, somewhat like being tipsy that he got when he was around Rey.

Rey.

He throws the covers off, snapping to attention as if he’d been given a direct order. But as he’s about to fling himself out of bed, someone’s easing him back in, and that’s when he realizes he’s naked. His cheeks burn and a familiar head of golden brown hair swims into view.

“Y-Your majesty. I apologize,” he stammers in a scratchy tone, he barely recognizes as his own.

“Ben,” and then he looks into her eyes, there’s a scratch high on her cheekbone. He hates that she even has that much of a mark on her cheek from the explosion that had nearly killed them both.

“You’re ok.” Ben sounds relieved but it feels like he’s got a lot to answer for. They’d been kissing in the front of her Suburban when the bomb had gone off and he’d protected her with his life.

Rey smiles  sadly  at him, “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m fine, love.” But it comes off stiff and jagged. He’s not fine. The world was falling apart around their ears. This was the year that wouldn’t quit.

Her back goes rigid, and it’s not hard to read her body language and the fact she’s about to do the unthinkable.

“It’s over,” her voice rings out, clear as a bell, and his heart shatters. He can’t help but think this wasn’t her decision. They were so in love. He blinks and she’s folded in on herself crying, and the queen of England steps into the room. Every bone in his body is yelling at him to stand up for his girlfriend. But Elizabeth Palpatine is the rightful queen of England and his queen. He dares not defy her will.

“At ease, soldier,” she says, in an irate tone of voice.

Ben is anything but at ease. “Your Royal Highness." He hikes the sheets higher, trying to cover up the very obvious love bite on his right pec. He’s far too conscious of how Rey’s love has manifested on his body.

The Queen is regal as always, and Rey’s mother cuts an impressive figure. “I understand you  were engaged  in amorous activities with my daughter when the bomb went off.”

Rey scoffs and puts her head in her hands, “Mom it wasn’t like that!”

“Oh? So you’re still a suitable bride?”

Rey gives her mother a look that would simply burn up a lesser person. Elizabeth Palpatine is not subject to those whims though.

“I didn’t think so,” Elizabeth says.

Ben knows he’s in hot water, this could mean dishonorable discharge or worse.

“You will get six weeks of paid leave, and then you will return to work. There will be no scandal. None of the details of the explosion were leaked to the press.  In other words, no one knows you were doing god knows what with my daughter, the princess of this country, when you  were supposed  to be on duty .”

Ben feels like…  maybe it would be better if his hospital bed swallowed him whole. He and Rey were in love… how could this be happening?

Ben  simply  complies, “Yes, your majesty.”

The matriarch of the Palpatine family walks out, her kitten-heeled shoes clicking on the linoleum floor.

In what seems like a cruel twist of fate, the queen had left Rey alone with Ben. Rey sits on the edge of the bed, and begins to cry, babbling about how she’s sorry and how much she loves him.

“Hey, hey,” Ben says  slowly, “Hope is like the sun, if you only believe in it when you see it, you’ll never make it through the night.”

She laughs through her tears, “That’s the most poetic thing I’ve ever heard you say, love.”

He slings an arm around her, he really needs some clothes but he supposes his suit was probably cut off his body. “You’re ok and that’s all that matters, alright?”

She clings to his bare chest, and he wants to kiss her, wants to tell her how much he loves her, but the words fail him. He always failed her. It’s hard to be strong just now because she’s crying in his arms. They might never touch again unless he gives his life for her. The thought gives him a measure of comfort. That would be his final act of devotion.

“The MOD is saying this might be the first in a series of… attacks.” Rey is watery-eyed, still.

Ben nods, “I was watching for people when we were together, I’m always looking out for you, my love.”

Rey punches his bed, “Damn it, Ben,” she says  tearfully, “I love you so much.”

He smiles sadly, “You’ll be alright,” though there is a note of sadness in his voice and he can’t keep it from her.

He wants to marry her before the storm settles on them, but that will never happen.

*~*~*

Ben and Rey spend the next six weeks sneaking around. Or rather - Rey sneaks into Ben’s small apartment at dawn and doesn’t leave until he’s asleep.

“We cannot keep doing this,” Ben says four weeks into his recovery. Rey sighs  heavily , and he knows the Queen must be aware of the situation. Ben continues, “I fought for this country for ten years, and I never put a man in danger. I never lost a member of my team, no matter how bad the odds were.” Ben brushes his sizable thumb against her cheek, where the deep cut she’d gotten is starting to scar. “But I can’t be in a world where we don’t exist, where there’s not you plus me. You’re far more than a comrade, I want you to be my wife.”

Rey nods, “I want that too, but mother —“

“You’ll have to pardon my crudeness, _but fuck your mother_.”

Rey recoils, “Please Ben, be reasonable.”

“Did it ever occur to you that this country has taken enough — that I’ve given enough?” His tone begs no argument but she gives him one anyway.

“So you want to what —? Retire?”

His response is immediate, “No — I  just  want to have a little soul left after I retire.”

“So you’re saying I’m sucking your soul?”

Ben’s cheeks pink, “I don’t want to fight!” He’d raised his voice  unintentionally , and she recoils for real this time. Ben often forgot his strength and the way he appeared to others. He would never hurt Rey, but her father had often shouted at her when she was a child. He realizes his mistake too late.

“I’ll see you,” Rey says  dismissively , “And please remember that I love you — even if you can’t love me.”

“Rey — no!”

But then she’s turning her back and he’s not sure whether he’ll ever see her again.

*~*~*

The next day is a rough one, he’s not reassigned to someone else. Instead, he spends the day on high alert for anything out of the way coming at Rey. She has to speak at a convention on democracy. Ben is afraid for her but remains his stoic self.

During the convention, he remains close by, behind the podium, and scans the crowd. He’s even more vigilant with an added dose of PTSD from his latest near-miss.

Someone he doesn’t recognize comes in, and drops a duffle in the corner of the room, then exits  quickly  .  Quietly , he speaks into his wrist piece. “Possible explosive in the vicinity, moving to remove the princess from the —"

But the sound of the device beeping and the inevitable explosion sets his reflexes on fire. He’s got her, he rips her body away from the podium, and he covers her body with his. His life is worth nothing without her — fight about marriage or not.

The explosion sends a wave of shrapnel into his back. His screams  are lost  in the depths of the fire which is now consuming them. He cannot stay here, she’ll die, but — what is going on?

He’d thought he’d covered Rey’s body with his own. He’s  vaguely  aware that they’re moving through the halls, and he’s  being rushed  from the room.

And then it dawns on him — he’s not very far off the ground — Rey — she must be carrying him! “Sweetheart, I can walk.” Ben groans.

“Don’t talk.” Rey snaps in that feral tone of voice she uses when she’s scared.

She’s going so fast, this must be a burst of adrenaline.  He’d always heard about people getting herculean strength from adrenaline, but he thought it was a myth . Now it was saving his life.

They get outside, and he hopes this isn’t the last time he sees the sun. Rey lays him down on his belly, her beautiful face swims into view.

“Ben — _Ben_ — hang on!”

But he’s slipping, and he can feel his heart winding down like a music box. The pain is a raucous symphony in his body and mind. It’s pulling him farther and farther away from her.

He sees her eyes once more, they’re the most beautiful hazel he’s ever seen.

“Sweetheart —“ He croaks, “I’ll come back for you.”

And then he’s gone.

*~*~*

The funeral is a subdued affair. Security Services insisted that Rey mourns in private — but she defies them. She shows up in her most beautiful morning clothes and smiles at Han and Leia.

She chats with them about how brave their son was — how much he had given both to her and to their country.

She found the wedding ring Ben had for her, along with the beautiful emerald engagement ring. She was wearing it went they put Ben in the ground.

Leia cries, and Han looks half-wild with grief.

Rey smiles at everyone and delivers his eulogy with grace. Then she goes home and consumes a pint of vodka by herself.

*~*~*

Ten days ago Ben Solo gave his life for his country. She comes here every day and lays fresh flowers on his grave.

On the eleventh day, she sets the roses at his grave, and someone taps her shoulder, a bit harder than necessary.  Of course — she’s here alone and though the organization responsible for Ben’s death had  been caught  , she’s on her guard .

She turns  slowly  to face her attacker — and instead falls to her knees in grief.

“I told you I would come back for you.” Ben’s voice is warm and real. He’s got his hands

“No — Ben?” Rey’s sobbing at his knees.

“Hey, sometimes you’ve got to burn an alias, love.”

She clings to him, hugging his knees, and then she’s standing up, and beating his scarred face with her bag. “You broke me! You ruined everything!”

“Whoa, sweetheart,” Ben says, holding her to his chest. “It’s a long story ok?”

She’s sobbing in his arms, and then he cries too because the smell of her perfume is so perfect. Scent is the strongest scent tied to memory — and he remembers so much.

Both of them sobbing, he walks her back to his car, and they decide moments later that it’s time for them to move far — far away.  Maybe  live someplace sunny, and get away from the infernal rain.

They book their flight immediately.

Ben burns their past identities, which is a feat in and of itself. But Ben has always made the impossible — possible.

*~*~*

It’s their wedding night in Jamaica. The locals have taken a liking to them. Though it’s been six months and they’ve both dyed their hair, and Rey is no longer a member of the royal family. There’s something about tonight that feels  distinctly  royal.

They’d gotten enough money for the rest of their lives — hell — for the rest of their grandchildren’s lives. Through Ben’s connections. And now it was time to say I do.

“Do you take Kylo Ren to be your lawful —“

“Yes.”

“Do you take Kira Niima to be your —“

“Yes.”

The official beams at them. “Then I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride.” Ben takes Rey in his arms and dips her low, and kisses her with abandon.

They’re not having a reception — too risky so he marches them to their new home, which is  just  along the beach.

He carries her over the threshold and then — they spend the night as newlyweds do. His cock is already aching for her, and she’s soaked through her panties.

Rey gives as good as she gets. Once their bodies  are joined  , she meets him thrust for thrust and then? He spills into her, his breaths come in long pants, and he feels like he’s  just  run a marathon.

He loves her, and  whether or not  their new life is perfect — she is perfect for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback makes me write more of these!


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